In therapy sessions with my clients, I often will ask "what are you noticing?". Their answer may describe a thought, a memory surfacing, an emotion, or a body sensation. If we are not in the practice of consciously checking in with what is happening internally, many emotions and sensations often go unfelt or unprocessed.
While some folks have a fine-tuned awareness of their emotions and body sensations, many of us were never taught how to be in touch with ourselves in that way. Even further, many have experienced being directly or indirectly told to not feel what they are feeling (e.g. “boys don’t cry”, “don’t make other people uncomfortable or feel burdened by talking about your problems”, “stop fidgeting and sit still”…).
Although emotions and body sensations can be separate phenomena, there is often a link between the two. The dropping in your stomach before a meeting with your manager may be communicating anxiety or fear, and the deepening of your breath while you lay on the couch with your partner might be linked to feelings of safety or connection.
I have found both personally and professionally in my work with my clients, that being in touch with what you are feeling (emotionally and/or in your body) often comes an increased sense of self-knowing and maybe even self-compassion.
Existing in a state of increased awareness of your emotions and body sensations can take time and practice to develop. I invite you to work to build this practice into your daily routine - when you notice yourself fidgeting or picking at your nails take a moment to pause and see what emotion you are feeling. If you find yourself rushing around and feeling stressed out, pause for a beat and see what in your body is communicating that you are stressed (e.g. tension on your jaw, thoughts racing, etc.).
Once you know how you are feeling, you will likely be better able to communicate with others about your needs and/or take care of yourself in a more attuned way.
I have continued to add to my virtual bookstore where you can browse and/or purchase books to learn more about some of the topics I am sharing here in these newsletters. Is there a topic you would like to learn more about through this newsletter or through your own reading?
Reading “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” which I am so enjoying! I am surprised that I haven’t yet read this book - it is a memoir about a therapist, her work with her clients, and her own personal therapy. I find myself laughing out loud often and appreciate the way she speaks about therapy.
I have been nursing a cold since returning from holiday travels and have been drinking hot beverages all day, every day. My favorite has been a turmeric tonic. Blend together fresh ginger, fresh turmeric, lots of lemon juice, honey, and freshly ground pepper. I have been enjoying this hot but it is just as delicious served over ice.
This is not a new episode, but I re-listened to this episode from The Emergent Strategy Podcast while on a flight and got so much out of it.
I recently had a Past Life reading with Kat Hunt and am still in awe at how powerful and magical it was. I highly recommend an Akashic Record or Past Life reading with Kat.
If you enjoyed this, please share it with at least one person in your life who may resonate.
May your days and week be filled with whatever you are most needing,
Ellen
When I get distracted, I am now doing my best to tune in to my body and see what is going on inside.
Hence, I am using triggers (eg checking the phone, assuming a strange position on the chair) as a way to remind me to connect with the internal disturbance and see if there's a message.
It was a good lesson from a Somatic Coaching course I am attending.
I was extremely triggered by a session that seemed to be "too light" for my tastes (too much chit chat).
At the beginning, my reaction was to start doing other things. To then vent my frustration during peer practice.
While I was invited to tune it, I have then figured out that I did need a lighter moment.
And I was pushing this opportunity away since I got conditioned to do so (like in your “boys don’t cry” example).
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.